So while I was waiting for Whiskey to get groomed today (he was in dire need of a haircut - and I’m not going to neglect my pup, he’s too damn cute), I stopped by a jewelry shop that I know buys back used jewelry. I’d decided to get my engagement ring appraised. I gotta say, I was flattered for a moment. I found out the ring, which is a 2-carat emerald-cut diamond with baguettes, is worth $14,000. The store told me it’d give me about 40 percent of its value, so I ended up getting just over $5,000. A shame it couldn’t be the whole amount but easy come, easy go.

So I pawned the ring that once made me so proud, made my girlfriends so jealous, made my life seem like it was totally together – but that same ring was a big lie. So to hell with it. And now I have something that is no lie: cold, hard cash.

Now, what can cash buy?

On the way home I stopped at the mall and treated myself to some new clothes. When I got home, I made a few calls: I hired a private Pilate’s instructor to come over every other day for the next month. Then, I called this supposedly gorgeous male masseuse who does house calls, and by house calls I hope that includes “happy endings.” I booked him to come right after the Pilates sessions. Then, I called the electronics store and had a brand new 40” flat screen TV for the bedroom delivered. It’s gorgeous. Fully equipped with recordable DVD, DLP, HD, LMNOP…and any other technology they offered. Steven had always wanted a TV in the bedroom. But I read an article that TVs in the bedroom cut the amount of sex a couple has nearly in half. Even though he complained about not having a TV, I always refused, saying it’d never happen. Funny how times change.

You know, now that I think about it there are some other jewelry pieces Steven gave me that I could do without. And with the cash, I could get that boob job he always wanted me to get. Steven always said I was one cup size away from a perfect body. Isn’t that sweet? But I would never really do that. I’ll find better ways to spend that money.

I then wrote a letter to Steven telling him that I wanted to give him back the engagement ring. I going to stuff an envelope with copies of the receipts and mail it to his office. It’s amazing what a diamond engagement ring turns into. Steven told me that it was an investment. Boy, was he right!