This photo is what I’ve been talking about, the favors that I called in for. Brilliant, isn’t it? I think so. I ran out early this morning to beat the rush hour traffic (didn’t quite go as planned but at least it wasn’t standstill) and got a picture of my billboard. My way to tell the world about the lowlife I’ve just wasted so many years on.

I put it near Steven’s office so his co-workers and friends could see exactly what a cheating scumbag he is. And of course, for all of you to see as well. I’ve decided to do what so many quiet, back-stabbed wives don’t -- take charge, make my whoring, cheating, adulterous, fornicating husband know what it feels like to be humiliated. And do it with many decibels.

It’s a personal message for everyone to read. Thanks goes out to my husband who chipped in on the price tag. Golly gee honey, I would’ve never been able to tell the world about your exploits with my best friend without your contribution! Gotta love joint bank accounts. Oh, sorry Steve, I had to splurge on the lights, too. Some people work late, like you. And they’re always driving home when it’s dark. Burning that midnight oil, Steve-o. Just like you.

So for the next two weeks, starting with today, I will exact revenge on my whoring husband. And who knows what a disparaged woman with lots of resources at her disposal might do?!

It’s going to be 14 days of vengeance. 14 days of unbridled revenge. 14 days of Steven looking over his back to see what’s coming next. Because I’ve decided that 14 days is precisely the amount of time I’ll still devote to that faithless and deceitful husband before I wash my hands of him completely. These 14 days will be a message to all of those nut-sacks who betray their family. Remember in Jamaica, on our honeymoon, when you said we were now a family? Me and you. Oh, you remember! It was on the terrace, in our white satin robes, right after you came prematurely. (Shoulda seen that pattern!) 14 days of misery for Steven, 14 days of reprisal for me, and 14 days of fun for all of you reading this blog!

Welcome to Emily’s 14 Days of WRATH! Wait till you see what I’ve got in store for Steven tomorrow – a wine tasting party with a twist!