So today I was in the middle of showing a psychiatrist a home with a separate guest house for his practice. He was complaining that the neurotic housewives in the suburbs out-number the psychiatrists they should see. He was either hinting about something or just being a plain douche-bag. Pardon my French. But, I hate head doctors. They sit around, dripping Visine into their eyes, while someone sits across from them bitching about their stepsister who eats too much mayonnaise. And they get paid for hardly talking and arranging their mahogany-framed “degrees” in conspicuous areas around the room.

Anyway, my point is, my brother, Jason, called while I was with the head doctor and said I had an appointment in two hours with a PI. A private investigator. Can you believe it? How crazy is that! See, a few weeks ago, my brother came up with this cockamamie idea that something's amiss with Steven. They work near each other and sometimes have lunch and Steven’s been acting weird. Jason thinks he’s cheating on me. My brother is a sweetheart, but he’s always been quick to judge. Steven's not screwing anyone but moi.

Anyway, Jason said I should hire a PI. To spy on Steven. Of course I said, “no” of course but Jason was relentless. I know he’s just looking out for me and since I figured it would be easier to just agree and get him to shut up about it already, I told him it was fine as long as he handled it – I wouldn’t want Steven to notice any money coming out of our account. I almost completely forgot about the whole thing until Jason called. But he’s made an appointment for me with the PI today. It’s totally insane. But I’ve decided I’m going to go and find out what eye-opening dirt this PI’s come up with. I’m sure that they’re going to show me scintillating footage of Steven sneaking off for his nicotine fix since I know he hasn’t really quit yet. Anyway, it’s weird but I feel a little nervous. I feel like I’m the one who’s doing something wrong here, like cheating and lying to Steven with this PI… but it’ll be funny when I tell him about it later - if I tell him at all.