Before I met Steven, baseball was the last thing I'd ever make time for. It's not that I hated America's pastime; I'd just rather watch an insurance seminar or paint dry. He's so enamored with baseball that virtually every evening of the season (we're talking, half a year), I'd hear how every game was so unique, groundbreaking, history-making. He even quotes batting averages on guys who played twenty years ago.

Anyway, I learned to spend “quality time” with Steven and go to the ole ballgames with him, wasting ten dollars on a urine sample-sized beer. I even let him watch baseball while we had sex on the couch - otherwise, I knew he'd get to bed too late and there wouldn't be any more extra innings.

Steven introduced me to the "fascinating world" of fantasy baseball. Can you believe these boys sit at home on the computer and draft pretend teams and play pretend ball? Not only that, they're pretty damn serious about it. Especially Steven. Steven's had one too many fantasies lately.

Over the years, you tend to figure out your companion's passwords. So I decided to enter Steven's fantasy baseball world. I finally connected with the league he's been on proudly for six years now. I tried to figure out the rules and finally gave up. So I waived some of his players (in fantasy baseball, that means fired… I think). I waived the guys whose names stuck in my head - like A-rod, Beltran and Pujols. I think I got rid of them. But then it just became so confusing since I don't really know who's good and who's bad. So I simply got rid of all the players and I picked up a bunch of guys on the disabled list. Now, Steven can “waive” goodbye to his fantasy team.

See you all tomorrow: “Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my!”